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The Difference Between Anger And Rage

By on August 20, 2010 in Anger Management Tips, Understanding Anger

A lot of people asked me, what’s the difference between anger and rage?

In the literal context, when we mention anger, it means an emotion which we experience when our needs, and expectations are not met, personal beliefs differ from others and also when we are treated unjustly or unrespected.

Rage refers to an action(s) in response to the experience of anger, which usually occurs when people do not handle or manage their anger appropriately, thus allowing the feelings of anger to escalate and eventually erupt like a volcano.

So the next question should be… What can I do to manage anger/rage?

Well, since we know that rage is a cause of anger, we have to tackle the root cause… anger. When I say tackling, it doesn’t mean eliminating all forms of anger. Like I have always preached… Anger, when used effectively can prevent instances of rages from occuring. Anger is a sign that something is wrong and when something is wrong, it should be discussed in an orderly manner so that we can solve the underlying problem.

The next time you feel abit angry, pause and immediately recognize that your feelings or needs have been unmet, and decide that you would like to discuss your feelings with the other party involved before things escalate. That is one good way to prevent rage from occurring.

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5 Tips For Keep Your Cool On The Road

By on August 6, 2010 in Anger Management Tips, Treating Road Rage

You don’t necessarily need anger management therapy for road rage. Here are some useful tips for keeping your road rage at bay.

Photo by Tony The Misfit

1) Be grateful. When stuck in a traffic jam, be grateful that you are in the comfort of your car with air conditioning and radio to listen to and not walking in the rain (before cars were invented).

2) Blast the music. Bring your own music CDs and sing along to your favourite tunes while waiting for the traffic.

3) Leverage on your time. If you know you are going to be stuck in a heavy jam, bring some audio CDs related to your passion. This helps you leverage on your time and it’s as fun as reading a book.

4) Choose empowering thoughts. Next time someone cuts you off in traffic, just assume that they are in an emergency and they need to get to somewhere fast. It’s about choosing empowering thoughts whether it’s true or not.

5) Leave earlier. Make it a point to depart early for appointments so you won’t be caught up in the stress of rushing to wherever you need to be. You can then take your time to get to your destination and not worry about people cutting you off.

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Managing Anger Through Altering Our Physical Behaviour

By on August 3, 2010 in Anger Management Tips, Reducing Anger Physically

Sometimes, the simple act of changing the way we look and act can have a positive effect on our efforts in reducing and managing anger.

When we are angry, it is easily to do things that convey anger through our body language which we don’t normally realize. This could be something like frowning, staring them in the eye, leaning hard towards another person, showing your firsts, pointing or hunching your shoulders towards them.

One of the easy ways to control your anger is to change the way we act whenever we feel anger building up. By simply loosening up your body, you will be able to dissipate any forms of intimidating body language and clear those angry thoughts from your system. Here are some things you can do to alter your body language:

  • Relax those face muscles
  • Drop your eye brows, shoulders, hands to your side and relax
  • Smile instead of frown
  • Turn your eye gaze towards their nose instead
  • Stand with your feet together

Once you have taken these steps to reduce the tension in the situation, you can take other measures such as cognitive therapy or assertiveness to help you find empowering thoughts.

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Quick Tips For Managing Anger In Children

By on August 2, 2010 in Anger Management In Children, Anger Management Tips

Many people have uncontrollable anger due to their upbringing as children. If you don’t want your children to end up having anger problems, it is important to instill the right mindset from a young age.

Kids have a strong tendency to throw tantrums if they don’t get what they want. If you constantly give into their tantrums, they will continue to use this technique to get what they want, and this habit will follow them into adulthood (throwing fits, losing temper easily).

So how do we deal with this? One good way is to reason with the child that they can get what they want (if its reasonable) by suggesting alternatives behaviours. Here are some suggestions:

1) Be polite when asking

2) Say “Thank you, and “please”

3) Suggest an alternative for your child

4) Ask them what will they do for getting what they want

5) Teach them the importance of compromise and be willing to compromise with them as well

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